Another penalty shootout exit, another torrential downpour… yet again, the UK is proving to be a rather miserable place to be this summer.

If you’re feeling the pain then why not take yourself off to one of Lesbilicious’s top ten lesbian holiday destinations? All of the below are fabulous places to visit while also being safe havens where your sexuality is unlikely to be an issue.

1. Greek Island hopping

This is fantastic fun and suited to adventure-lovers who embrace spontaneity. From the Greek port of Piraeus you can travel between the islands by ferry which is safe, easy and fairly cheap. Don’t worry about booking accommodation in advance as there are plenty of touts at the larger ferry ports to take you to a hotel or campsite.  Particularly recommended islands are:

Lesbos – naturally!

Also known as Mytiline or Lesvos, Lesbos is the island from where the word “lesbian” is originally derived, due to it being the birth place of the poet Sappho who wrote many a powerful poem about love between women.

The beach resort of Skala Erresos is a tranquil women’s haven, many of whom are peacefully going about their meditation or practising their yoga. Accommodation is fairly basic and it is not a huge party place but there are some lovely places to eat and you can openly kiss and cuddle without feeling at all self-conscious.

Sappho Travel is a friendly travel agency with plenty of accommodation options.

Mykonos

A lively party island, with a brilliant but male orientated gay-scene. Definitely worth staying a few nights.

Santorini

Hire quad bikes, visit the outdoor cinema (showing films in English) and then watch the sunset from the stunningly romantic Oia. This island is a little more on the expensive side but absolutely worth it.

Santorini's outdoor cinema

2. Thailand

Lesbilicious writer Carrie J Lyell was lucky enough to travel around Thailand for her honeymoon, particularly recommending Seaflower Bungalows on Kho Phangan and the Silvadee resort in Koh Samui.

She said, “We got all the same perks as a straight couple and there wasn’t a raised eyebrow in sight.”

You can read about the couple’s honeymoon adventure on Carrie’s blog.

3. Amsterdam

Famously liberal, Amsterdam has always had a thriving gay scene and can provide a wonderfully diverse holiday destination.

Whether you are up for a sobering visit to Anne Frank’s house, famous Van Gogh paintings, trips to the infamous coffee shops or even a live sex show, Amsterdam can provide it all with a cheap bicycle rental and lovely canal-side setting to do it all in.

If you can afford it, eat at the flagship Supperclub which is delightfully camp and also serves exquisite food while providing great entertainment – all from the comfort of a bed. The vibe is much better (and gayer!) than the one in London.

Amsterdam Supperclub

Amsterdam’s red light district is certainly not for the faint hearted. Prostitution is legal and the sight of scantily dressed women posing in brothel windows is a dark and intriguing tourist attraction that may be upsetting for some. The red light district is, however, a good place to stock up on sex toys if you don’t blush when your bag gets searched at customs.

Hostel boats are a quirky way of staying in Central Amsterdam on a budget, but be warned the cabins are tiny and rather claustrophobic.

4. Goa

A stunningly beautiful part of India with an easy vibe where you can enjoy a Tandoori red snapper fresh from the ocean on a beautiful balmy evening.

Particularly recommended is Agonda beach, a gorgeous stretch of unspoilt sand where you can stay in wooden huts that open out directly onto the beach. Ask any of the locals and they will help you arrange a boat ride where you can go dolphin spotting or visit the nearby secluded butterfly beach.

Simrose Beach resort is well-ordered paradise and serves delicious breakfasts or My Place offers a more rustic, Robinson Crusoe experience. Party-lovers can head to the livelier areas of Palolem or Kerala.

Simrose resort at Agonda beach

Read about my recent trip to Goa on my blog.

5. California

The most gay-friendly state in the US, California legally recognised gay relationships from 1999 and has a number of gay villages such as the Castro District in San Francisco, Hillcrest in San Diego, and West Hollywood, not to mention being the setting for that little-known lesbian drama The L Word.

As with most gay scenes, the lesbian bars are a little less obvious than the male ones but are well worth the trip. Try the Lexington Club in San Francisco to experience London’s Candy Bar, but bigger.

California is a huge place, so if you have time hire an open top car and do a road trip, Thelma and Louise style.

7. Brighton

Okay so Brighton is in the UK but it has a beach and lots of LGTB people so it has to make the top ten.

Legends Hotel and Bar, overlooking the main pier, is a large, friendly gay hotel and provides very reasonable accommodation which includes breakfast.

The bars and clubs of Kemp Town are great fun and the Laines are fantastic for shopping meaning you get all the perks of a cosmopolitan city along with the fun of a beach resort. Just don’t count on the sun shining!

8. Ibiza

Anything goes, and unless you spend your time in the West End of San Antonio then kissing your girlfriend in any of the bars or clubs in Ibiza is unlikely to attract undue attention.

Ibiza Town has plenty of gay bars, though they are completely dead in the daytime and evening, the best time to visit being after midnight.

Ibiza is home to some very fine restaurants. Splash out on a meal at KM5 or if you are feeling romantic you can eat while watching the sunset at Kumharas, a chilled hippy restaurant by San Antonio bay that used to serve vegan stews but has surprisingly switched to posh, carnivore fusion. Ox fillet anyone?

Cafe Del Mar sunset

Other great places to watch the sunset include the cliff opposite the island of Es Vedra, a peaceful and romantic destination or you can opt for Café Del Mar or Café Mambo on the more commercial sunset strip in San Antonio.

9. New York

The birth place of of Harvey Milk, the Scissor Sisters and, ahem, Lindsey Lohan, New York is cool and classy with a substantial splash of camp.

The newest gay resort is The Out Hotel, a shiny 90s style place with very welcoming staff. The lesbian night Henrietta Hudson is great fun and the Fette Sau restaurant in Brooklyn has delicious food served by LGBT staff to predominantly LGBT clientele.

10. Gran Canaria

An enjoyable, gay-male orientated gay scene is to be found at Yumbo Commercial Center but Gran Canaria also offers year round sunshine and beautiful volcanic walks if you feel so inclined.

Rambling in Gran Canaria

Ramblers Holidays do an all-inclusive LGBT-friendly walking holiday where it is perfectly acceptable to bunk off and sunbathe for the day if you don’t fancy a ramble.

Is there anywhere I have missed?

Have you had a great LGBT-friendly holiday experience you would like to share?

Please comment with your suggestions and recommendations.

The openly neo-Nazi, racist and homophobic party Golden Dawn – whose name was borrowed from Alfred Rosenberg, the theoretician of Nazism – made its entry to the Greek Parliament this weekend, with 18 deputies out of 300.

Golden Dawn gained about 7% of the votes after the elections on 17^th June 2012.

A copy-paste of Nazi references

It is quite a big shock for Greeks and for the whole Europe to witness the revival of ghosts that were believed to belong to the past. Unlike other extreme-right European political parties, Golden Dawn and his leader Nikos Michaloliakos are not even hiding their political heritage or pretending they deny any totalitarian, racist or homophobic ideology.

Beyond the ghastly decorum – black cross on red background flag, Hitlerian salute – Michaloliakos confidently declared in the media that Hitler is “a great historical personality of the 20^th century” and that gas chambers never existed.

“Time for fear”

Golden Dawn leaders and members are not only extremely violent in words, they regularly come to physical actions.

At the beginning of June, the number two of the party, Ilias Kasidiaris, burst out in anger live on TV and punched in the face two female leftist politicians.

The party is more of a Milice (a local vigilant group) than a political party. The members decided to clear the streets of Athens of all the illegal immigrants (and the others) who reach Europe via Greece – due to its strategic position, 9 immigrants out of 10 got into Europe through Greece in 2010.

The party is famous for its regular ‘pogroms’ against immigrants, supported by iron bars or even white weapons. When Michaloliakos was asked how he would sort out the problem of immigration, he simply replied: “I let you imagine”.

A social role

The most worrying is that Golden Dawn meets a very big echo in a society overwhelmed with economical chaos. Its members tend to replace the police to deal with local offence.

They also play a social role for the elderly and all those left behind by the recession, assuring the safety of more fragile people and distributing food to those in need.

Golden Dawn undoubtedly benefits from the general climate of xenophobia generated by deprivations and the general collapse of the standard of living suffered by the Greek population since the beginning of austerity policy in 2009.

“I wouldn’t feel proud if I were a fag”

 This quote by Nikos Michaloliakos concluded a speech about the “abnormality” of homosexuals, who are obviously “not welcome” to Golden Dawn. He also regretted the absence of a “test” which would enable him to know with certitude who is gay or not in the party.

In 2005 already, Golden Dawn demonstrated its hostility to gay people by handing out homophobic flyers during the Athens Gay Pride.

More recently, Golden Dawn openly threatened the gay community by leaving flyers in Gazi, the gay area of Athens, where one could read: “After the immigrants, you’re next’.

Greece and homosexuality: a fraught relationship

 Sappho and her only-girls Lesbos island are definitely relegated to the status of a distant myth. The situation for LGBT people in Greece was already far from easy, and is now going even more backwards.

Greece has been somewhat stuck between tradition and modernity and has adopted a really fraught attitude towards homosexuality. Whist everyone is aware that many pop stars and national icons are gay, and despite centuries of history that generated the word “Lesbian” itself, the young generation still has a hard time coming out of the closet.

Standard family is still the primary institution and the mentalities don’t seem to evolve much. Many LGBT people therefore choose not to live openly their homosexuality, creating a vicious circle and never triggering the chance for a whole generation to eventually change things.

In the chaotic first decade of the 21^st century, with the hatred and the threatening demonstrated on the public scene, young LGBT now have good reasons to be scared of coming out.

With the World Pride Parade just two weeks away, it’s time to see what the UK has in store for July. 

The Pride London Festival started its life in 2006 hosting EuroPride. Today, it kicked off World Pride 2012 with its theme ‘One World, One Pride, One Voice’. The parade itself is at 1pm on 7th July starting at Baker Street. Making it’s way down Oxford Street and Regent Street, down Pall Mall and Cockspur Street as it passes Trafalgar Square, it will continue down Whitehall where it will end at around 4:30pm. From 2pm, celebrations start in Trafalgar Square with international artists, performers, activists and speakers. Who knows, you might bump into Sir Elton John.

Derbyshire Pride, with the theme ‘Pride not Prejudice’, is held from 11am on 7th July at the Bass Recreational Ground in Derby. With many other Derby Prides to contend with – Derby Pride, Derby Gay Day amongst them – the festival is looking to build on its success of the previous two years. After the parade, there’ll be live music, entertainment, goods stalls, a bar, market area, kids area and fun fair to ensure a day out for all the family.

The Bourne Free Pride Festival will take over the seaside resort of Bournemouth for the weekend of Saturday 14th until Sunday 15th July. Headlined by Kerry Katona, the theme for the Parade will be a ‘it is a royal affair’. (Hilarious!) Set up in 2004, Bourne Free was a reaction to a far right organisation visiting Bournemouth to preach that homosexuality was wrong. A few weeks before the visitors arrived, they set up a small Pride event and later decided to organise one annually.

Bristol Gay Pride, declaring ‘WE ARE: PROUD’, will celebrate their festivities on 14th July on College Green with a community area, family area, Proud Parade and musical and artistic performances. International superstar Martha Walsh will be headlining the festival. With a string of number 1s with the Weather Girls, Black Box and C+C music factory; she’ll be championing HIV and AIDS prevention and the WE ARE: PROUD theme.

11 years of Pride mark Hull Pride’s biggest festival – a weekend long celebration. On Saturday 21st July West Park will play host to Basshunter, dance acts, comedians and the winner of their Pride Starz 2012 singing contest. With Pride games on the Sunday and a special line up of comedians and musicians, including Kevin Cruise, West Park will be the place to chill.

York ‘Northern’ Pride is York’s twelfth Pride celebration. The event on Saturday 21st July is to begin its march from York Minster, centre of recent controversy with Dr John Sentamu, through the city centre to a new and larger venue at Bustardthorpe Field. After march party acts are yet to be revealed. Check out www.yorkpride.org for a peek.

Northern Pride will present Newcastle Pride, the third british Pride to be on 21st July. In Leazes Park, celebrating its fifth birthday, the festival will be birthday themed and will feature a cabaret tent, The Steve Pake Health Zone, fun fair, market stall, sports, food vans, bars and new to the festival – the Woman’s Tent. Featuring its own bar area and stage, the Woman’s Tent will play host to a variety of all female acts and staff.

The Beach Lawns of Western Super Mare are the landscape for Southwest Gay Pride 2012. Held over the weekend of 20th to 21st July, the festival will include Pre Pride Theatre Shows at the Playhouse, stage events and a Stars of Pride VIP event at the Wintergardens.

Nottingham Pride, on 28th July, kicks off at 12pm and features a whole range of tent entertainments. With an acoustic stage, a dance tent, comedy tent, burlesque tent, healing tent, trans area and dirty filthy sexy tent, it’s sure to quench any festival-goers thirst. The Sunday after has a Theatre Cinema chill stage and a ‘Not from London’ sports workshop. It’s definitely a quirky one.

Norwich Pride has a week of events – art exhibitions, comedies, discussion groups, a dog show, lesbian poetry evening, rainbow cycle ride and the Parade itself – there’s lots to look forward to. This year is Norwish Pride’s fourth birthday, to be celebrated with a picnic at Chapelfield Gardens and a live broadcast from Future FM.

With a July full of prides, all over the UK, it’s set to be an excellent season. Keep tuned for all the information on the August and September festivities and let us know which Pride you decide to go to for your celebrations.

Image created by Angela Brown

It is true to say that I have been out of the bookselling trade for a few years now, but both as a reader and a bookseller I always found the gay and lesbian section really uninspiring.

Usually these ever decreasing sections are a mixture of erotica, and well, erotica. And (when I was a bookseller) the few people who shopped in that section to buy the… lesbian erotica… tended to be men with a penchant for something a little bit naughty. There are of course some fantastic authors out there who cater for the lady-loving market – Sarah Waters, Ali Smith, Val McDermid, Jeanette Winterson, Jackie Kay, Stella Duffy… But where are the new young lesbian authors? (And must they write about being a lesbian?) This week, Radio 4 Woman’s Hour asked the same question. Surely they are out there, but why are they not getting published?

Both Stella Duffy and Suzi Feay (guest editor of Mslexia magazine) expressed their thoughts on the matter. But it was Stella Duffy who really resonated with me. “I’m not calling both of you ‘a straight’ but I do get called ‘a lesbian’ and it so reductive.” Thank you Stella Duffy and I agree. It is reductive. I am interested in characters who take me on an exciting journey and it matters not to me whether they are lesbian, bisexual, transgender, heterosexual or in fact not interested in sex at all. Write me a good story and I will read it. But I do not rush out to buy the latest book of lesbian content, because more often than not… they are just not very good.

‘Tipping the Pages’, Newcastle’s book group for lesbian and bisexual women, seems to agree with me. The first time I went along to one of their meetings I was told that they had given up on reading ‘lesbian books’ because after the canon texts it all just gets a little bit awful. So they had moved onto ‘good books’ and were feeling a little better about things. There is a practical reason however for why we may not be seeing so much ‘new stuff’ in the market place. (Warning, slightly dull paragraph on economics to follow.)

According to an article on the Guardian, although the sale of eBooks rose in sales last year by a massive 366%, the sales of physical books are still on the decline. The eBooks do not quite compensate the loss; figures from the Publishers Association reveal that book sales were down by 2% last year and seem to be declining still in 2012. So for all we can want, desire, hope for more books, more literature, more Sapphic loving ladies hitting pages everywhere, we also should be realistic and put this into an economic context. The book industry is having a battle of its own which makes publishers even less likely to take risks and bookshops (pray let them not become dinosaurs for my children whenever they arrive – I miss you Borders) unable to justify carrying diverse titles because the sales figures of ‘lesbian books’ are for the most part, marginal. This does not perhaps explain away why these books may not appear in eBook form, and actually maybe the new generation of digital print will lead to a new generation of writers?

So in other words, it isn’t all doom and gloom and there is hope out there for the optimistic writer. Speaking on Radio 4’s, Woman’s Hour, Suzi Feay put a shout out for writers who identify as lesbian to enter the Polari First Book Prize next year, “We’re looking for memoirs, poetry, novels, and we’re just not getting the submissions from women”. The entry date may have passed for this year but this gives you just enough time to get your debut novel published (self publish even) in time for the 2013 competition. Thoughts from Stella Duffy on why those submissions may be low, “There’s two things going on, one is that we’re just not seeing that many younger people getting published … We still live in a world, and this is a very Woman’s Hour point, where we didn’t really have the goals of feminism, we’re not seeing women in the front benches let alone many in the back benches, there’s going to be commensurately fewer lesbians”. Although, Duffy then goes on to say, “We’ve only been writing our own names for 160 years it is going to take a while to catch up.” In other words, actually women are doing okay given the fact that men have been chronicling their history for much longer. This writing thing is kind of new for us. That said, surely ‘lesbian authors’ are not yet set to become a protected species? Appearing only in some David Attenborough type documentary and to be seen only from the other side of a camera lens…

Another part of the problem is identity. Stella Duffy claims that she is taken more seriously as an author when she writes about men as oppose to when she writes about women. I am reminded here of a little unknown author going by the name of Mary Anne Evans aka George Eliot – not because George Eliot was a closet lesbian (don’t get excited ladies) – but because she changed her name to George so that people would think she a man and actually go ahead and buy her books. Stella may be onto something here and it ties back in with the economics of the publishing industry in general and risk taking (or lack of).

So where do we go from here? Well if you are disheartened, uninspired and feeling a little forgotten about, why not put your laptop where your mouth is and get scribing? Personally, I believe that although ‘coming out’ tales and lesbian chic lit still has its place on the shelf, a time for more diversity within our own writing is upon us. I don’t know about you, but there is more to me than my sexuality… I’m also ginger too… and I would love to see some fresh new fiction about interesting characters who just happen to be gay, or from authors who identify as lesbian and happen to be about well… anything.

Are we now finally in the privileged position where we can demand more from our literature and raise the bar of expectation? I hope so. Let me know how you get on.

KJ signing out until next time…

The Denver Post reports that Colorado State Representative Marsha Looper is “very, very disappointed” that her gay son was outed via an email making the rounds amongst El Paso County voters. The original email was sent to her campaign, but it went more viral when Looper’s campaign manager, Lana Fore-Warkocz, forwarded it on to Looper’s supporters.

Initially one could see how the campaign manager thought it was a good idea to pass the email along, considering it praises Looper’s actions during a recent House Appropriation Committee hearing. The author praises God, as well, in the email, seemingly overwhelmed with gratitude that Representative Looper voted against the bill in committee, despite having a “homosexual son”. The problem is that even though many in the State Capitol are aware that Marsha Looper’s son is gay, he has apparently requested privacy and she has abided by that request, not dragging her family, or her son’s sexuality, into her campaign. Her efforts to protect his privacy became moot once her campaign manager blasted the email out.

Unfortunately the bill died at the initial session, after no votes were cast, and then again at a special session re-hearing the bill, which killed it before it could even get to House floor. Representative Don Coram, who also has a gay son, said he was against the bill on the principle of upholding the 2006 vote by Colorado to ban gay marriage. The aforementioned email also praises God and Representative Coram for voting against civil unions.

As disappointed as Representative Looper is that her campaign manager did not respect the boundaries between policy discussions and personal family issues, I can’t help but wonder if she is anywhere near as disappointed as her son. And why stop at her son? Why not wonder about Representative Coram’s son whose own sexuality is just as well known as his father’s vote against civil unions? For that matter, why stop at Colorado? Surely there are Representatives in other US states whose own campaign issues squander the rights of family members.

As unfortunate as it is that the privacy of her son and family was cracked without much apparent forethought, I imagine it is not as unfortunate as being a gay man whose own mother does not support his equal rights. I remember how I felt when I learned that my own parents voted for the CA Prop 8 Marriage Ban in 2008, and “disappointed” does not even begin to cover it. I was devastated, and confused, and had a hard time wrapping my brain around my parents denying me and my sister the same rights that their friends’ kids had. And yet they are just voters. Citizens. They are not State Representatives who could maybe, just maybe, be a part of history by standing up for equality, and the rights of their children.

If Representative Looper is not willing to stand up for her own son’s rights, I hope she will at least choose to uphold his request for privacy from here on out.

This summer make sure you get down to at least one of the LGBT pride events in your area, or even somewhere further afield. This guide gives you all the tips needed to ensure your pride is as successful as you want it to be.

1) Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

If you’re travelling to a new city or even simply going to your local pride, preparation can be key to a wonderful day. Travelling far? Make sure you’ve booked train/coach tickets and sorted out a hotel if you need it. Nothing is worse than turning up thinking you’ve booked a hotel, only to find you haven’t and the rest are either overpriced or fully booked.

Check the weather forecast, if the forcast says sun and heat, don’t wear your thermals and a fur coat. If the weather says cold and rain, don’t turn up in your hotpants.

2) Don’t get too drunk

For many, pride is a time to remember, one to enjoy, so why you’d want to get drunk beyond belief and run the risk of not remembering it all, is beyond me. Being too drunk at a pride (or any) event can not only have adverse effects on you, but on the people you’re with too. Noone wants to spend their pride holding a friends head over a toilet seat so they can be sick. Noone wants to waste their day nursing the one who had one-beer-too-many when they, themselves could be out having fun. By all means, have a drink, but don’t go overboard.

3) Don’t waste the opportunity and try new things.

Maybe this is your first pride event, or maybe you’re a longstanding member. Regardless of the position you take, be sure to see and do as much as you can at pride. So much work and preparation has been done to give you an amazing day and it can be. Whether you go and see a cabaret, a drag act or simply watch the parade, don’t leave without doing something that you’d like to do. Nothing worse than leaving a pride day and saying “I wish I had……..”.

Further tips:

- If you plan on seeing the parade, get there early.
- If you’re taking young children, keep them away from the crowds, pride events are normally very busy and children’s safety must come first.
- Have a meeting place for big groups in case you happen to lose one another.

Do you have any more tips for our lesbilicious readers?

On Wednesday, Ireland’s Senator Katherine Zappone and Dr. Ann Louise Gilligan announced a fresh fight to have their Canadian marriage recognized at home.

The new case, to be heard in the High Court, is to test the provisions of the Civil Registration Act 2004. This was the first act to define in Irish Statue that marriage is between a man and woman only.

Zappone and Gilligan will also challenge the Civil Partnership Act 2010, which prohibits civilly partnered couples from marrying.

It’s important to note that the Irish constitution doesn’t have a definition for marriage and references only a commitment to equality for all citizens.

This is a group of citizens who earlier in the year voted 73% in favour of same sex marriage in a Red C poll.

Senator Katherine Zappone, a public policy consultant, and Dr. Ann Louise Gilligan, an academic, married in British Columbia, Canada in 2003.

Together for 30 years, they, like many other same sex couples married abroad, are still waiting for equality.

Last October, the couple launched a Supreme Court appeal against the Civil Registration Act 2004. They were unsuccessful.

Originally, wishing to appeal this decision, they now think it better to start a fresh case including the Civil Partnership Act 2010 in their challenge.

Senator Zappone said, “It became clear to us that, even if we succeeded with our original case, the provisions within the Civil Registration Act and the Civil Partnership Act would remain. So it became imperative to shelve our Supreme Court appeal and proceed to challenge this Act before the High Court.”

Missing Pieces

Marriage Equality’s 2011 report Missing Pieces found over 160 differences between Civil Partnership and Civil Marriage, including issues around immigration, finance and family rights. 

It’s the lack of family rights that raise the most eyebrows.

Under the Civil Partnership Act in Ireland, children can continue to be adopted by gay people, but still only singly. Where this brings danger to children, is where the ‘adoptive parent’ dies, the other parent is instantly cut off in the legal sense. Moreover, the child himself or herself has no connection with the surviving parent and is cast adrift.

What is this but child abuse?

If I look at my relationship with my parents, I am far far closer to my father. I haven’t seen my mother in a few years and yet I see my dad every day, he is my world. How would I have stood as a child if I were adopted to gay parents in such a case? If my mother were to die, I would lose not only her but my dad too. I would be losing my world, but not only that, but also the only person who could support me and get me through such a devastating time.

That’s not to mention hospital visitation rights.

For a country whose constitution gives commitment to equality for all citizens, I struggle to see why such legal challenges must exist.

Many in Ireland comment on Zappone and Gilligan’s case as a waste of time. After all, it took Lydia Foy and David Norris to go to the European Court of Human Rights in both their equality cases. The Irish Courts have never broken new ground in relation to LGBT rights on their own.

Let’s hope Senator Katherine Zappone and Dr. Ann Gilligan can prove them wrong.

The idea of a smear test isn’t the nicest thought. It is one of those things that is loaded with all sorts of baggage collected throughout our childhood and teenage years. As a young lesbian who has never slept with a man, being fed the misinformation that ‘lesbians don’t need smear tests’ must be fabulous. A rare (for some people) benefit of being a lesbian.

Cervical screening, the technical term for smear test, saves 4500 women’s lives a year. It may comes as a shock to some lesbian and bisexual women but the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) which causes cervical cancer can be passed on during sex with female partners as well as male partners. Lesbians, we are not immune; even the so-called ‘gold star’ ones who have never slept with a bloke.

What is really scary is the spread of misinformation. I remember telling a nurse I didn’t need condoms and she told me I didn’t need to be screened. She either assumed I was straight and not sexually active or she thought that lesbians don’t need to be screened. Either way, she wasn’t doing her job properly. The professionals need educating as much as we do.

The Lesbian and Gay Foundation launched their ‘Are You Ready For Your Screen Test’ campaign in the North West in 2010. The campaign had such positive results that they have been funded to roll out the campaign nationally this year. Professor Juliette Patnick CBE, Director of The NHS Cancer Screening Programmes, highlights the need for the campaign; “Research carried out by De Montford University found that there is a low level of awareness of the cervical cancer risks for lesbians both among healthcare staff and lesbians themselves. We have to change practice and perceptions”.

This week, 10th – 16th June, is Cervical Screening Awareness Week. If you have been avoiding booking yourself in for a while, now is the time to do it. If you have any friends who have been dodging the test, offer them some gentle encouragement. The NHS recommend that you have your first test at 25 and you are eligible up until the age of 64.

So if you weren’t sure before, be sure now that you need to be screened every 5 years. If you haven’t been screened before, it isn’t the most pleasant experience in the world but it takes minutes and really isn’t all that bad. A few seconds of discomfort that could save your life. You might be extra lucky and the medical staff may have stuck some pretty pictures on the ceiling to distract you. Why not take your own and some blue tac in case they haven’t been so thoughtful – I’m sure they won’t mind. You could leave it there for the next person.

See the LGF website for more information about cervical screening.

Sometimes I think whoever created my genetic makeup forgot to install the gaydar.

I have always loved women since a monumental crush on Kylie (or ‘Charlene from Neighbours’) when I was eight years old, but my lack of gaydar meant that I didn’t notice or befriend any real-life lesbians in actual real-life until the ripe old age of 26.

I would read about lesbians in magazines, see them on TV and I even moved to Brighton in my quest to befriend the queerer sex, but for one reason or another (damn that missing gaydar!) I never met a single one.

Okay so that’s a tiny exaggeration. Of course I met lesbians in gay bars and I had a few pleasant chats and a few flings but I never managed to infiltrate any lesbian friendship groups and sadly no lesbians came along and infiltrated mine.

After years of being single, and having given up on finding a real life lesbian in the real world, I turned to the internet to see if that’s where my new lesbian friends and maybe even a girlfriend were hiding. Lesbian bars are not really my scene (and I had nobody to go with!) so it seemed to be the logical option.

The Good…

First stop was GaydarGirls.com, arguably the most well-known dating site for lesbians. It’s a fairly simplistic site where you can add a profile description, up to three pictures (more if you upgrade to paid membership) and an outline of who and what you are looking for.

GaydarGirls

Pros:

-          It’s cheap! Basic membership is free and it’s only a fiver a month for full membership which allows you unlimited emails and makes you appear at the top of the search results.

-          It’s busy – there are plenty of lovely girls on there.

-          It’s quick and friendly – most people don’t launch into long drawn-out discussions, they just bang out a quick hello and you chat MSN style.

Con:

-          It’s quite simplistic, as there is no search criteria other than how close in proximity you are to the lady you are chatting with. This makes it great for casual hook-ups but not so great for finding your soul sister.

After lots of fun and a two year relationship from GaydarGirls, I turned to Guardian Soulmates in the hope of finding a partner who shared my left-wing views.

Guardian Soulmates

Pros:

-          The search contains lots more criteria and you are matched with potential partners on a percentage scale based on everything from your star sign to your retirement plans.

-          It is great for ruling out “absolutely nots” ensuring steak lovers don’t end up dating vegans, and Geminis don’t end up with Cancerians (heaven forbid).

Cons:

-          It’s expensive. The standard price of a six month subscription is £96 for six months, with monthly renewal thereafter at £16. Standard price of a three month subscription is £64 for three months, with monthly renewal thereafter at £21.33.

-          You can be a 100% match for each other online but it doesn’t mean there will be a spark when you meet in real life.

I took the plunge and signed up for a six month subscription and went on a date with an older woman, a lawyer, to a very expensive restaurant. We were a great match online but upon meeting in person it was clear she was way out of my league and the conversation was a little stilted. Unsurprisingly she never called and I ended up getting back with my ex a few weeks later so it was a bit of a waste of money all round.

The bad…

When searching for my future wife, I noticed that unless the dating site was exclusively gay, all the advertising and marketing material completely ignored gay couples. Ever seen two women hand in hand on an advert for match.com? Nope neither have I. While browsing marketing images from match.com to back up my claim I noticed that not only was every couple a straight couple, they were also both white.

Shame on them

…and the Ugly

…or not in the case of BeautifulPeople.com that is launching its exclusively gay website this summer. The premise of the site is that only “beautiful looking” people are allowed to be members, voted in by members of the opposite sex (or in the case of the new site, members of the same sex). This is how the website describes itself:

BeautifulPeople has been described as an “elite online club, where every member works the door”. BeautifulPeople.com is the largest internet dating community exclusively for the beautiful, dedicated to ensuring members find their perfect match.

It will be interesting to see whether lesbians sign up for the BeautifulPeople website. The stereotypical lesbian relationship is based on chemistry and connection rather than pure physical attraction so it is fair to assume that many lesbians will shy away.

I hope that lesbians do experiment with the site as a typical lesbian’s idea of beauty is likely to differ from a straight male’s and it would be pleasing to see the BeautifulPeople website with images of alternative beauties, both butch and femme, rather than a series of Barbie dolls.

I have detailed all my online dating adventures on my blog. You can read about myexperiences on GaydarGirls here, and here and MySingleFriend here.

And in case you were wondering how I met my current girlfriend? We met round my mate’s house. How last century!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee today.

Whilst you're hanging out your bunting, I'll be hiding under the bedcovers. Photograph: Michael Gwyther-Jones

The year of her coronation, Alan Turing was convicted of “gross indecency” and later killed himself. The Queen would have surely been aware of the Stonewall Riots in New York in 1969. I’m not sure if she’s seen the 2008 film about Harvey Milk, or if she even owns a DVD player, but she was on the throne when he died. Elizabeth witnessed the slow decriminalisation of homosexuality, the AIDS epidemic, Section 28, the Gender Recognition Act, the first civil partnerships. She was on the throne throughout. She must have an opinion on the current fight for same-sex marriage. And yet, she has never publicly acknowledged the existence of us queers.

In Peter Tatchell’s piece for the Guardian last week, he said that the Queen had turned her back on the gay community. Granted, the Queen has done an awful lot since the death of Diana to dress the monarchy up as down with the kids, but her silence on LGBT issues has left him—and others—wondering whether she’s quite as modern as the monarchy she’d like to present.

He concluded that the monarchy is homophobic, “if not by conscious intent, then by default”. I’ll leave you to make up your own mind. I don’t know whether or not the Queen is supportive of LGBT equality, but regardless, all the pomp and ceremony are just a bit too much for me to bear, especially in these times of austerity. It seems everywhere I turn, people are falling over themselves to get a bit of the Queen. I don’t understand this love affair at all. The fanfare over the Royal Wedding? I kind of got that. At least Wills and Kate have some semblance of normality. I mean, he wears jeans. But the Queen? I’m not even sure she’s human.

Aside from perpetuating hierarchy and inequality, I’m just not mad keen on the monarchy, and the Diamond Jubilee festivities have left a rather sour taste in my mouth. That’s not just the bottle of Pimms we polished off over the weekend. Donald Wilson, Lord Provost of the City of Edinburgh said last week that the street parties and bunting were the perfect way to lift our spirits and take our minds off all the double dipping and economic doom and gloom and talked of the “buzz of excitement” up and down the country. They’ll be a lot of you that agree with Donald and think I’m being a bit of a killjoy, but really, if I felt there was something to celebrate, I would. I just think that instead of all the flag waving, this might be a good time to talk about what role, if any, the monarchy has to play in a modern society. It all feels to be so out of touch, and hard as I try I can’t feel proud of something that says nothing to me about my life. Why are we still paying for this ceremonial nonsense when more and more people are without work, without a future and without hope?

I’m not advocating hanging a pride flag above Buckingham Palace or even a mention in her Christmas speech, but as Peter says, her silence sends a signal of exclusion and disrespect to so many and I think has far wider implications. It can only serve to reinforce negative attitudes in the Commonwealth, where homosexuality is still illegal in over 40 countries.

Of course, the monarchy has been successful in bringing itself into the 21^st century in many ways but it still has an awful long way to go before it’ll win me over.

Now, away and enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend. I want everything back to normal by the time I wake up tomorrow.

Bromance; isn’t it a beautiful thing?  Since days of old, boys’ friendships have blossomed and bloomed into cute, close relationships: Marc Anthony and Julius Caesar (pre-Cleopatra); Lennon and McCartney (pre-Yoko, obvs) and Brad and George. 

Only now, though, have we got a term that really encompasses the ‘love’ they feel for one another (and let’s face it…it’s not always obvious how, erm, deep this affection runs, is it?).  Even the most masculine of blokes have got on board with this idea and I for one think it’s fabulous.

But where do boys learn to forge these kinds of deep and meaningful ‘friendships’?  Through positive male role models?  Through strong, caring father figures?  God no…through the power of children’s fictional characters!  Yes, folks, that’s right.

I’ve always had a hunch that the root cause of my lesbianism was too great an obsession with He-Man and Thundercats (I had a replica Lion-O sword and everything and ran around shouting, “Ho!” while my mum tried to force Barbies and A La Carte kitchens on me) and I’m thinking, well, if a bit of TV defined my sexual orientation, it must also have helped to encourage a bit of boy-on-boy action somewhere, surely?

So, devoid of any debate whatsoever that has any basis in reality, to feed an appetite whetted by the top 8 lesbilicious characters we wish would come out, here is my run-down of the 8 greatest children’s character ‘bromances’:

Superted and Spotty

Now these two were inseparable.  Not even the relative evils of Texas Pete could separate our heroic pair, who always helped each other out in times of need.  And we all saw the little glint in Spotty’s eye when Superted ripped his fur off. ‘Nuff said.

Dangermouse and Penfold

In a similar style to our number 1 slot, these two stick together through thick and thin, coming to each other’s aid in a variety of crime-fighting capers.  Very macho, you may think.  Yes… until you factor in the point that they drive to the scenes of these crimes together in a bright yellow convertible. I can just see them cruising Miami Beach in that bad boy.  And don’t even get me started on Colonel K’s moustache; it certainly wouldn’t look out of place in a Village People tribute act.  Good grief, Penfold…

Zippy, Bungle and George

Right, I don’t really need to say anything here do I?  Perhaps Bungle and Zippy could get away with ‘playing it straight’ but… George?  He’s pink, he’s extremely tidy, he’s arguably the most attractive character (and I am including Geoffrey in that) and he’s one of the stars of a programme called Rainbow. If ever there was a gay icon of the children’s character world it is George.  Zippy, Bungle and George, I take my feather boa off to you good sirs: the original bromance.

Batman and Robin

“Holy smoke, Batman, I think I love you!” Ok, I may have ‘adapted’ this line a tiny bit, but wouldn’t that be a great episode?? Always together and always clad in buttock-clenchingly tight lycra, these boys are to bromance what Greggs is to sausage rolls. And all those ‘gadgets’ that they both seem to enjoy using…? Well, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions…

Yogi Bear and Boo Boo

The two most famous residents of Jellystone Park have definitely got a bromance going on. It could be argued that this is definitely platonic, due to the existence of Yogi’s girlfriend, Cindy.  However, Boo Boo is always around Yogi and we rarely ever see Cindy.  “I’m smarter than the average bear!”  Yes Yogi, it appears that you are…

Sooty and Sweep

The depth of affection between these two lovable little guys runs so deeply that they almost seem to speak in their own little language; Sooty, in fact, doesn’t even need to say a word… One of the best double acts around, alongside Sue (‘fag-hag’?  I wouldn’t dare to even suggest it…) they have entertained generations of children with their friendly, if slightly dubious, banter.

Ralph and Cedric

Ok, so you have to be of a certain age to remember The Raccoons, but if you do, you’ve got to be able to see my point here.  Ralph and Cedric’s story is almost Romeo and Juliet-esque in that, despite their warring families, they remain friends against all the odds.  It’s beautiful.  And it’s got a really cracking theme tune.

Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee

So, let’s examine the basic plot: our heroes travel together through Middle-earth, risking life and limb for… a piece of jewellery.  Shiny, engraved jewellery at that.  Sam clearly loves Frodo and would do anything for him, as he proves countless times throughout the duration of the novel.  Bromance at its best.

Any bromances missed off the list?  Totally agree / disagree?  Please comment and let me know your thoughts…!

Batwoman: out and proud since 2006

DC Comics’ Green Lantern came out this week and can now join Northstar from X-Men and Batwoman in the metaphorical gay bar of the superhero world.

Aside from the odd superhero, there aren’t very many gay characters in pop culture. Well, there’s Dumbledore. But (spoiler alert!) he’s dead.

That’s not to say that there aren’t queer characters out there. It’s just that they haven’t officially come out yet.

In an effort to move things on, here’s your guide to closet-case characters we’d love to see come out.

Many of them will never have the opportunity, as their stories have been wrapped up and their creators are long-gone. But for others, an acknowledgement of their latent homosexuality (or bisexuality!) remains a tantalising possibility.

Are those Birkenstocks?

Peppermint Patty (Peanuts)

Let’s start with an easy one. Peppermint Patty likes sports, she wears board shorts, she has a close – extremely close – friendship with her friend Marcie. Who, incidentally, fawns over Patty, and calls her ‘Sir’.

Case for: we’re hardly the first to spot this one. Peppermint Patty has been represented as a lesbian in Family Guy, and she pinged the gaydar of a couple of characters in Alison Bechdel’s Dykes To Watch Out For comic back in the 80s too.

Case against: Maybe she’s straight and just has a platonic master/slave relationship with Marcie?

Lesbian Batwomans score: 5/5

Bullies are always mean to the ones they like

Ethel Hallow (The Worst Witch)

The Worst Witch was a British series of books about schoolgirl witches, way before the days of Hogwarts or Sunnydale High.

The hero of the story was Mildred Hubble, a nice if accident-prone witch; the bad girl was Ethel Hallow, a posh girl with a mean streak who was forever dreaming up new ways to cause trouble for her crush arch nemesis.

Case for: Ethel, the prettiest and most popular girl in school, just can’t stay away from  Mildred. And nothing says ‘I want to snog you in the broom cupboard’ like turning a girl into a frog.

Case against: Sometimes mean girls are just mean.

Lesbian Batwomans score: 2/5

George is the one rowing, naturally

George (The Famous Five)

Enid Blyton books are generally as progressive with gender roles as they are with race relations – that is to say, not at all – and in the Secret Seven series, the boys are forever sneaking out in the evening looking for clues while the girls do the washing up.

But in the Famous Five we have the wonderful George (never ‘Georgina’) who will go off adventuring better than any boy, and by jove she’ll jolly well thump anybody who tries to stop her.

Case for: Total tomboy, refuses to adhere to 1930s gender roles, owns her own island (surely the dream of all modern-day camping lesbians).

Case against: Not the case against, exactly, but maybe George is trans rather than tomboy?

Lesbian Batwomans score: 4/5

A mystery in tangerine

Velma (Scooby Doo)

Scooby Doo, the funfair crime fighting team, are made up of a dog, a stoner, a jock, a cheerleader and a nerd.

Cartoons don’t generally like showing complex, multi-faceted characters, so female characters are invariably sexy and helpless, or clever and unattractive.

Since ‘unattractive’ so often seems to be a synonym for ‘lesbian’ for straight male audiences, Velma is a lesbian. Obviously.

Case for: She does wear those trendy dykey glasses…

Case against: She’s more interested in books than women.

Lesbian Batwomans score: 1/5

Subtext? What subtext?

Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)

A strong-minded, intelligent girl who often feels out of place in her famously dysfunctional family, Lisa is also a vegetarian, an environmental activist and a musician. Perfect gay stereotype material, and a definite step up from Velma.

Lisa has had many, many crushes on boys over the years but she’s a pretty open-minded gal: what’s to say she won’t turn out to be bi?

Case for: Lisa ends up in a delightfully queer “friendship” with a girl named Juliet in a Heavenly Creatures parody (no, really).

Case against: Recently depicted as married to Milhouse in the future.

Lesbian Batwomans score: 3/5

Yikes

Miss Agatha Trunchbull (Matilda)

The hapless pupils of Crunchem Hall Primary School (or Elementary School, if we’re talking about the Americanized film version) were terrorised by Miss Trunchbull in Roald Dahl’s 1988 classic, Matilda.

This massive headmistress is pretty much the embodiment of the scary, manly lesbian construct so feared by the Conservative government of the time, who enacted Section 28 that very same year.

Case for: Miss Trunchbull’s appearance just screams “dyke”.

Case against: She may be unmarried, but would anyone want to marry Agatha?

Lesbian Batwomans score: 2/5

Don't mess with this tomboy

The entire cast of Lord of the Rings

Well, we could talk about this one all day. But let’s set aside Sam/Frodo, Gimli/Legolas and Gandalf/any hobbit he can get his hands on, to instead concentrate on a little-recognised lesbilicious possibility within The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien’s homoerotic fantasy epic.

Enter Éowyn: shieldmaiden of Rohan.

Case for: Sick and tired of the limitations of womanhood in a man’s world, Éowyn cross-dresses and goes to war. Unlike George from the Famous Five, she’s still proud of her womanhood: a fact that the Witch-King and his monstrous steed discover to their cost.

Case against: Seems mostly into very hairy men. Then again, this might just be because lesbians didn’t exist in Oxfordshire circa 1954.

Lesbian Batwomans score: 2/5

She's also a little kinky

Wonder Woman (Wonder Woman)

Where do we even start? There’s a good reason why a Google search for “wonder woman lesbian” yields almost two-and-a-half million results.

Depicted as gay by both fans and detractors, the definitive female comic book hero comes from an island populated entirely by scantily-clad amazons, and has barely showed an interest in men in over seventy years.

Case for: It’s argued that Wonder Woman creator William Moulton Marston based her character upon both his wife Elizabeth… and his wife’s other sexual partner, one Olive Byrne.

Case against: Erm… she’s not out?

Lesbian Batwomans score: 5/5

Did we miss anyone off the list? Did we get the scores right? Let us know in the comments!

Article by Ruth Pearce and Milly Shaw