(Bear in mind, I’m a great fan of GCN – reading it cover to cover whenever I can get my hands on it. However…)

Yesterday an article was published by GCN (Gay Community News), a free magazine for the Irish LGBT community. Or so I thought. Entitled LGBT Soup, the article sparked uproar with its biphobic, transphobic and asexphobic slant. Written by Ciara McGratten, the Deputy Editor of the magazine, many saw this piece as the voice of GCN, and turned away in astonishment.

McGrattan begins her article with a brief history of the terms gay and lesbian – an interesting read. But then goes on to state her distaste at the words bisexual, transgender and asexual, amongst others, from being “tacked on” to the LGBT community.

“The “T” doesn’t need to be there”

Her reasoning is given as follows;

“While, it’s obvious that the trans and gay communities fight the same kinds of fights, and as such make logical allies, trans individuals, are not part of the ‘gay’ community by virtue of their non-traditional gender orientations (except the ones in same-sex relationships, naturally).”

Hmm… how many times have you heard a gay guy being  described as a ‘nancy-boy’ or a lesbian referred to as “butch”?  The LGB’s have a longterm affinity with “non-traditional gender orientations”. It’s no wonder the transgender community has developed with the help of LGB.  In Ireland we have an organisation called TENI (Transgender Equality Network Ireland). While they run autonomously, last year they marched in the Dublin Pride Parade – and with a contingent of over 100. This massive display of the transgender community wouldn’t have happened without the help of the LGBT organisation Dublin Pride. There’s nothing wrong with this.

The statement in the article which caused the most comment was;

“As big a fan as I am of sensitivity to marginalised individuals, I am more concerned with accuracy of language.”

For me, the point in LGBT is inclusivity. Bisexual and transgender people are marginalised, especially in Ireland, and I think supporting them is more important than having a perfectly eloquent language. Heck, if I were to label myself accurately I would be a pansexual, transgender, polyamorous individual. I find it easier just to refer to myself as gay and inbetweeny in gender if anyone asks.

Asexuality is absurd too

“Seriously now. Asexual? Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction to anyone – same-sex, opposite-sex, whatever. When exactly did LGBT become the dumping ground for every non-heterosexual orientation?”

A “dumping ground”. How inclusive of you. Asexuality is a term often misunderstood, and is paired with the LGBT community so as to allow a space for understanding. Not long ago I didn’t ever get asexuality – this was until an asexual banner joined us in the Pride Parade. The people marching explained their thoughts, marginalization, and joy at being able to join such a huge celebration of expression. Why should they be left out to make a shorter name?

Bisexuals “not same-sexing it up”

Now, this is an argument which is wrong on so many levels;

“Even the current LGBT mouthful is unnecessarily long, when ‘gay’ suffices for all same-sex attractions. This doesn’t cover bisexuals, you might argue. It doesn’t need to: ‘bisexual’ is only a description of what someone is doing when they’re not same-sexing it up.”

Ok. So say I’m bisexual. If I were “sexing it up” with a lady, I’d suddenly not be bisexual anymore – let alone not belong to the LGBT community? What!?

Hang on. Who chooses my labels? Who defines when and how I use them? Who defines my membership to the LGBT community?

I don’t think I need to elaborate…

“LGBTLMFAO”

Woah. If the image of the alphabet soup in the shape of “f*ck off” hadn’t offended enough, this was the last straw. LMFAO, as many of you know, stands for Laugh My F*cking Arse Off. Not a great way to end a biphobic, transphobic and asexphobic article.

The featured image of the article.

The “Gay Club”

This marks the crux of the offence in the article for me.

“Do you sleep with people of the same sex? Welcome to Gay Club. In a relationship with someone of the same-sex? Welcome to Gay Club. Trans and exclusively attracted to people of your gender? Welcome to Gay Club. Attracted to both sexes? Good for you, but unless you’re with someone of the same-sex, you aren’t part of Gay Club.”

Well then that’s a club I don’t want to be in. Your club doesn’t have space for my human array of emotions? No thanks. I’ve got to respectfully disagree on this one.

Imagine slipping out the back door to work every morning to dodge the paparazzi. Leaving for work early and departing late to avoid harassment.Having to contact the Press Complaints Commission to stop journalists and photographers lurking outside your workplace.

This was the life of Lucy Meadows, a teacher of St. Mary Magdalen’s C and E School in Accrington, Lancashire. Like many trans women, Lucy just longed to be herself, and at age 32, that is what she did.

Upon coming-out to her workplace, the Headmistress, Karen Hardman, wrote this letter that made the headlines in the press:

“Mr. Upton has recently made a significant change in his life and will be transitioning to live as a woman.”

On Wednesday Mrs. Meadows’ pupils were told the worst. Their teacher was dead.

Post-mortem results have not been released, but it is believed she killed herself.

We’ve learned this woman’s tragedy through the emails gleaned my the media. In a New Years mail to her friend, Mrs. Meadows spoke out about the media’s publishing of her wedding photographs and other private photos from a sibling’s Facebook page. She also spoke about her urge to come-out.

“I was lucky to have a supportive head, but I think I’d have done it here regardless as I couldn’t put it off any longer and I have family and financial commitments as well. The guidance I’ve had from the trans community has been generally sound and very much appreciated, and I’d like to be able to say I’ve given something back. I suppose the best way for me to do this would be to educate the people around me and children at school – I am a teacher after all!”

The Press

Lucy goes on to describe her taunting by the papers;

“I became pretty good at avoiding the press before Christmas. I live about a three-minute walk from school so they were parked outside my house as well as school. I’m just glad they didn’t realise I also have a back door. I was usually in school before the press arrived and stayed until late so I could avoid them going home.”

Unfortunately, this kind of harassment avoidance is common among trans people – whether it be to avoid the papers, their family or even the neighbours.

Littlejohn and the Mail

In December, Lucy’s fate was to get even worse when her gender reassignment became the subject of nationwide media attention. In a piece headlined, “He’s not only in the wrong body… he’s in the wrong job.” Richard Littlejohn of the Daily Mail asked readers what they thought of “the devastating effect” on the students of Mrs. Meadow’s change in gender. It was then that Lucy complained to the PCC.

Over 150,000 people have signed a petition urging the Daily Mail to fire Richard Littlejohn and demanding a formal apology. The Daily Mail has since struck back in defence. A spokesperson has said;

“It is regrettable that this tragic death should now be the subject of an orchestrated Twitterstorm, fanned by individuals – including former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell – with agendas to pursue.”

Last night a candlelight vigil was held outside the Daily Mail headquarters, with up to 300 members of the transgender community and supporters attending. Participants held placards with the message “I am not afraid.”

Stand up and be counted

Lucy isn’t alone in her battle against a transphobic society. GIRES (Gender Identity Research and Education Society UK) estimate 300,000 to 500,000 transgender people live in the UK. Of these, 78% of transgender people have seriously thought about ending their lives and 40% of those have attempted, 22% of those at least 3 to 5 times. (The Trans Mental Health and Well-being Survey 2012)

Lets not let Lucy’s story go to waste. In a era where the faces of the transgender community are rising to the fore – stand up and be counted. It’s not so long ago lesbians and gays felt the stigma.

If you or someone you know is affected by these issues and need to talk to someone urgently, the Samaritans is available 24 hours a day on 08457 90 90 90; or email [email protected] or visit the Samaritans’ website.

On the 20^th March 2013, by a vote of 149-137 the Canadian House of Commons approved a bill making it illegal to discriminate against people who are transgendered.  The Conservative Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, who has very openly opposed rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people, unsurprisingly voted against this bill as did most of his party.  However, eighteen Conservative MPs voted in favour of the bill, a crucial number to support the bill’s approval.

Some members weren’t happy with the wording in the bill because of the included terms ‘gender expression’ and ‘gender identity’.  Randall Garrison, the New Democrat Party Minister of Parliament who introduced the bill, removed the term ‘gender expression’ by way of a compromise.

The Canadian Human Rights Tribunal were in support of the bill adding transgender identity to the federal anti-discrimination and anti-hate legislation saying it would promote acceptance and send a message about tolerance.

There were some MPs who debated that transgendered people were already protected under sex and disability but the explicit protection outlined in the bill completely eliminates the possibility of challenging the rights of transgendered people or leaving them vulnerable within a non-specific grey area.

‘Both sides of this debate should agree that equality and protection against harm are two fundamental values that all Canadians of any gender, any age, any background are entitled to.’          —Tory MP Michelle Rempel

This is a big thing and a small thing simultaneously.

It’s a big thing because this is a group of people who have been marginalized, ridiculed, attacked, misunderstood and left without any basic protections.  Without trying to sound glib, their position within mainstream society has been exclusive, relegating them as a kind of modern-day leper and forcing them into hiding where they exist on the outer extremities of the rest of the population.  This bill changes that reality for the thousands of Canadians who identify as transgendered as well as for the transgendered tourist population visiting Canada.

It’s a small thing because why have transgendered people NOT been protected under the law so far from the harassment and violence that they endure on a regular basis?  As human beings, they should always have been protected under human rights.  Having your basic human rights protected seems like such a small thing—to those who take it for granted.

In the UK a transgendered woman is treated like a social pariah while shopping for clothes on the High Street.  In the American state of Arizona a transgendered man uses the men’s toilet and sparks an outcry and public debate because of the gender on his birth certificate.  In Canada a transgendered woman is refused work at a rape crisis and support centre because she was born male and can’t possibly empathise with the women survivors (despite experiencing the very same gender-based violence).  In the UK a transgendered woman kills herself after a reporter chooses to publicly rip her life apart by way of an article in a daily paper just because he is uncomfortable with who she is.

Who gets to decide?  Who is the lucky person who decides how any single individual apart from themselves is permitted to exist within our society?  I haven’t been granted that permission from anybody of note.  I don’t know anybody in my own circle of family and friends who have been granted that permission.  Until I see a piece of paper with some kind of seal on it stating ‘This person has the right to impose his/her/their own values onto anyone and everyone they choose to and reduce their life to a state of misery just because they feel like it’ then I will maintain my stance that my life is not your business and your life is not my business.

If you are walking down the street wearing a paper bag and a fruit basket on your head, you must be comfortable doing so and I kind of admire you for feeling secure enough with who you are to pull off such an out-of-the-ordinary look.  Work it.  It looks good on you.  By the same token, if I choose to walk down the street wearing a pair of trousers and a t-shirt I would expect no different treatment because at the end of the day, underneath whatever we’re wearing, we are human beings and we have a right to feel safe and protected and free to be who we are.

Are you lesbian? Gay? Queer? Bisexual? Nonstraight? Questioning? The BFI London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival (BFI LLGFF) have decided that maybe it’s time they changed their name, and they’re looking for suggestions for what it could change to.

LLGFF is not the most elegant of names, and as well as being rather a mouthful, it’s not particularly accurate. It’s not just a festival of lesbian and gay films, because people don’t always fit into those two neat categories.

Sexuality is a spectrum, and it’s as difficult to divide and categorise as the spectrum of light. Where does blue end and green start on a rainbow? There certainly aren’t just 7 colours – just take a look at Crayola names, or the amusing and slightly insane colour survey from XKCD.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, or LGBT for short, is often used a catch-all for people who don’t fit into the box marked ‘heterosexual’. But not everyone fits in that either. What about people who feel ‘bisexual’ is too binary, or ‘lesbian’ too permanent? Or the people who don’t consider gender particularly important – either their own or other people’s?

‘Queer’ is heralded by some as the magic word that ends all these problems – a wonderful umbrella term that encompasses everyone who isn’t 100% heterosexual. Many people love it and use it quite happily, but for a significant minority it will always be a term of abuse, and no amount of reclamation and rehabilitation will make it fit back into polite society.

The LLGFF have got a real challenge on their hands. All organisations that speak to non-heterosexual audiences face the same problem – Lesbilicious included. We took the decision early on to use ‘lesbian / bisexual’ to refer to all women who don’t consider themselves to be straight, but we do sometimes say ‘lesbian’ instead – and in doing so accidentally exclude readers who don’t identify as lesbian.

So what’s the solution? An alphabet soup of acronyms, which may include more people, but may enrage others who feel it’s empty politically correct posturing? Or a random word that excludes everyone and no-one, explains nothing and confuses everyone?

Whatever LLGFF do about their name, most people will probably think it’s the wrong decision. In a way, that’s positive. People are complex, and so, inevitably, if there are an infinite number of ways that people can define themselves, there will never be one category big enough to fit us all.

What label do you use to describe your sexuality? And what do you think the LLGFF should change its name to, if at all?

This bank holiday Sunday 26th May, Orange Nation & Saturn Star presents London’s biggest gay gathering which is now a festival. Held in Victoria Park London, this looks like it’s going to be one of the biggest LGBT events this year.

Acts already announced:

RITA ORA

KATY B

UNION J

OFFER NISSIM

SKIN (DJ SET)

+

VERY SPECIAL GUEST:

HOLLY JOHNSON

Rita Ora

More acts to be announced as well as 4 separate large indoor dance tents and 5 additional tents.

There’s still time to get your tickets, so don’t miss out on such a fantastic event. More details can be found on their website:  AS ONE IN THE PARK

£40, £75 VIP

12pm – 10pm

Victoria Park, Hackney, London E9 7DB

Nearest Tube/National rail: Mile End

A couple of years ago, the Guardian columnist, Kate Harrad asked “Why can’t women have Grindr too?” Grindr, for those who do not know, is a geosocial networking app with a reputation for enabling promiscuity, aimed at gay and bisexual men. Cue the emergence of lesbian apps such as Brenda, Lesarion, Qrushr girls, Dattch, and Findhrr. These lesbian equivalents were never going to be “lesbian Grindrs” because lesbians as a section of society are less interested in casual sex than gay men (Grindr has between 1 million and 5 million users whereas Brenda has between 50,000 and 100,000).

Perceptions of lesbian sexual appetite, however, go much further than the idea that we engage in less casual sex than gay men. They relegate us to the bottom of the sexual desire scale with ideas such as lesbian bed death; it is not just that we don’t have casual sex, we don’t have sex at all. According to these perceptions, gay men and lesbians occupy two extremes of the sexual deviance spectrum; gay men are promiscuous and gay women are lacking in sexual desire. Between these two extremes, heteronormative sex can insert itself (as it were) and reaffirm itself as normal and natural, whilst “othering” any sex that does not constitute heteronormative sex.

Botticelli's painting of the birth of Venus, goddess of sexual love

Heterosexism is the new homophobia

This is not just a matter of blaming the straight majority, since the survival of the lesbian bed death idea can be accounted for by the (unconscious or conscious) internalisation of these heteronormative beliefs by lesbians and bisexual women. I know that I have been guilty of this. In my last article, when a doctor asked me if I was sexually active, I replied: “I’m gay, does that count?”

Let us also consider the name The L Word. Already we are labeling ourselves as something that dare not speak its name. It reminds me of characters in Harry Potter calling Voldemort “you know who” because he is too terrible to be named.

I will admit that there is a part of me that considers lesbian sex not “real sex”, but I believe that this internalised feeling of heterosexism was borne out of saturation with hetero-normative sex. If I switch on the TV, I cannot avoid heterosexual sex scenes. If I read the newspapers, I cannot avoid stories of celebrity sex tapes. If I listen to the radio, it is only a matter of time before Flo Rida asks: “Where dem girls at?”

There is a surfeit of heterosexual sex in the modern world and yet gay sex barely gets a look-in. This is why heterosexist beliefs are internalised and survive within the LGBT community: because gay sex is rarely represented, let alone normalised.

Lesbian sex in mainstream culture

When lesbian sex does make its way into the mainstream, it is qualified by what I like to call “The abnormality factor”. Consider the following lesbians in these films:

Black Swan (mentally ill)

Gia (junkie)

Monster (serial killer)

Lesbian Vampire Killers (mythological and homicidal)

The Kids Are Alright (prefers penis when given the choice)

Batwoman ([in DC Comics] domestic abuser)

The message? Lesbian sexual desire can only be expressed when it can be dismissed as deviant, leaving the mainstream community able to preserve their sense of being “normal”.

Now I am not suggesting that we start waving strap-ons in the faces of our straight friends, but it is worth considering to what extent we are complicit in lesbian sex remaining in the closet, even if it is due to cultural heterosexism.

Women’s representation in sports is a rather funny concept.  There are thousand’s of women participating in sports on a daily basis here in the UK on a plethora of levels, whether they’re professional, coaches, volunteers, grass root players, university representatives, physio’s, sports comapany owners, I could go on.  Yet, for some incredulous reason, the level of support, guidance, and coverage women’s sports get compared to men is so off balance they might as well be on a different set of scales.

I’ve played sports since I was tiny, played hockey for over a decade for my North Wales club, Ardudwy Hockey Club, and Lancaster University, as well as being a sports rep for Lonsdale College (Lancaster has a collegit system in place which is invaluable, in my opinion), so sports has always been a staple part of my life.

A couple of weeks ago I came across a horrific article where one (male) journalist scrawled a terribly misogynistic portrayal of women’s sports, and how, in his humble opinion, women’s sports doesn’t deserve the same coverage and equality as men’s for reasons that are so nonsensical, I shant waste time delving into them.  I wrote a response (which can be read here) and decided, things need to change, and thankfully, a whole host of other sensational women who are the backbone of women in sports are dedicating a large portion of their time in helping to move women’s sports to the next, equal, level.

I got the opportunity to speak with Tammy Parlour, co-chair of Women in Sports Trust, and is a 4th degree black belt in the Korean martial art of Hapkido, having practiced for over 30 years.  She founded Chang’s Hapkido Academy UK, a full-time martial arts and meditation school in central London.  Tammy specialises in the relationship between martial arts and personal development. She has written a book on meditation, lectures at organisations like The Wellcome Trust, and is doing a part-time MSc in Strength & Conditioning.

Hey Tammy, how are you?

Very well, but rather busy.

Ah, I can imagine! Enjoyed much sports over the weekend?

As I coach the marital art of Hapkido full-time throughout the week, Saturday is my ‘rest day’.  I’m also preparing to test for my 5^th degree black belt in April so things are quite full-on.  Saturday’s are usually about gentle walks, Frisbee in the park or some sofa-TV action – Sundays I do a Strength & Conditioning session – I’m currently in a strength phase which I always enjoy – particularly squats and dead lifts.   We were glued to the TV watching the World Indoor athletics this weekend and last Saturday we loved getting to see the Women’s Rugby live at Twickenham.  There is little that beats the thrill of seeing  exciting sport right in front of you and one of the WST’s aims is to encourage more opportunities for watching live or televised women’s sport.

Very busy indeed! The rugby was wonderful, I made sure I watched too! The Women in Sports Trust sounds really fantastic.  Could you tell us a bit about how it started?

Women’s Sport Trust was stimulated by the London 2012 Olympics.  Like many people – women and men – we were massively affected by the increased media coverage of women’s sport and as a consequence access to strong female role models.  It made their previous absence from mainstream media all the more apparent.  In addition to this there were stories about female athletes representing their country yet struggling financially.  We thought “what can we do?”, and so we founded the Women’s Sport Trust.  I strongly believe that individuals can make a difference;  the Women’s Sport Trust seeks to bring individuals together into a movement that enables them to show that  women’s sport matters.  We have world champions, Olympic gold medallists and business leaders on board – but just as importantly we are getting support from individuals who are willing to donate small amounts of money, or get a group together to attend a match.  It all counts – and the more people who feel they have a connection to WST, the better.

That is really impressive! What’s the main aims the trust hopes to achieve?

We are a grant giving body dedicated to raising the profile and changing the perception of women’s sport in the UK.  We want a world where strong, diverse female role models are highly visible rather than hard to find, and sport is one of the most important public arenas we have – which means that sport has the potential to shift how women are seen and how they see themselves.  The Women’s Sport Trust is designed to make the most of sport’s ability to generate positive change for women.  Practically this means we want to provide an additional funding stream for women’s sport, we want to engage with media organisations to increase coverage, we want to encourage spectatorship and participation – and as a result of all this raise the profile of new and existing role models.

The more coverage the better, for sure. What do you think are the biggest obstacles infront of women in sports today?

Every female athlete we’ve spoken to has mentioned the lack of media coverage.  I believe we are seeing a change – post-Olympics, women’s sports stories are starting to get out and there is evidence to support that there is an enthusiasm for women’s sport – but more needs to be done.  We’d like to see the media able to fully capitalise on the appetite for women’s sport that exists.   The relative lack of media coverage also has a knock on impact to sponsorship and funding, creating a negative cycle that WST wants to play a part in breaking.  If potential sponsors are able to see more media coverage and large audiences, then they will be more compelled to provide financial support.

Ah yeah, and more sponsorship equals more opportunities in the long run. Women in sports have come leaps and bounds over the last century, but we’re still a long way off equality, why do you think that is?

This isn’t happening just in sport.  Just today there were a number of articles claiming that “public appointment processes are ‘loaded towards male characteristics and experience’”.  The Davies report also talked about getting more female representation on boards.  We need to review how decisions are made and check that they are not weighted against female representation.  We also need more diversity amongst decision makers and leaders – including more women.  Those who are in positions of influence have the potential to make decisions that positively impact on women in all spheres, including sport.  There is significant media and political attention on this but progress is too slow.  We hope to play our part in pushing things forward by raising the profile of both women’s sport and leading female figures.

I know we’ve touched on this but what do you hope to achieve with the representation of women’s sports in the media?

The simplest answer is that we want to see more of it!  It can be depressing to read through the back pages of a range of newspapers and notice the minimal coverage of women’s sport – although there are notable exceptions.    We don’t want to browbeat the media though – we want to work with them to change things and have actively engaged with a number of media allies.  We are keen to see a more diverse range of female role models in the media – so that women of any age can be inspired by and connect to them.  Our patrons, athlete supporters and grant recipients will also be a great source of positive media stories and we are actively planning to link them up with journalists.

Do you think the London Olympics and its legacy has made an impact on women’s sports?

I do.  The Women’s Sport Trust’s existence is living proof.  But only time will tell how much of an impact that is.  If access to women’s sport matters, then we all need to get involved.  We need to go to women’s sports events, blog about women’s sport, talk to journalists and programmers, be good role models for our daughters and demonstrate that the hunger for women’s sport is very real.   Whilst the Olympics were extraordinary, we can’t be complacent and just expect a legacy to emerge as if by magic – we actually have to do something.

Definitely! Where do you see the biggest shifts in participation? What sports?

I think we’ll see huge shifts in participation for any sport that the media decide to positively cover.  In all probability then, sports like tennis, football, cricket and netball will greatly benefit.  Upcoming showcase events like football’s Women’s Euro 2013  that will be covered live by the BBC and others, as well as the thrilling recent Australia – England Netball series are cases in point.  Work by progressive organisations like the WSFF are making a big difference – but so are the coaches who volunteer time and the parents who take their children to clubs.  It needs to be a combination of big policy changes, investment and media coverage aligned with the “little big things” getting done on the ground that will really make a difference.

Do you have any advice for girls who want to venture into new sports but haven’t taken the leap yet?

Sport and play tap into the same human desire to connect, run and be part of something.  There are some sports I’ve tried and I didn’t really go for – but I gave them a whirl.  Then there are sports I’ve tried that I’ve loved and have become an enormous and positive part of my life.  So my advice would be – dive in and give it a try.

Thank you so much Tammy for answering these questions for us, and I implore you, lovely reader, to take a look at Women’s Sports Trust’s website here and more importantly, take part!

Oral arguments heard at US Supreme Court later this month

On March 26^th and 27^th, the US Supreme Court will hear oral arguments regarding Proposition 8 and the Defense Against Marriage Act. Last week, multiple briefs were filed in support of the American Foundation for Equal Rights’ Plaintiffs challenge against Prop 8, and the repeal of DOMA.

I’ve mentioned Prop 8 before, and that’s because it is a wily case that is frankly hard to untangle. Suffice to say, marriage equality advocates are hoping that, after five years of bandying around the words “Prop 8” and “Marriage Ban” and “Really, California??!” an end is finally in sight. Once the oral arguments are heard, it is presumed that a verdict will be reached by June of 2013. (I know I’m not the only California native with her fingers crossed.) Briefs came piling in last week and backers of the Plaintiffs in the landmark Hollinsgworth vs. Perry included the obvious choices of PFLAG, the 13 US States where marriage equality is legal, NFL players Chris Kluwe and Brendan Ayanbadejo, and the state of California.

As far as the Defense Against Marriage Act goes (a federal law that went into effect in 1996 that defines marriage as a legal union between a man and a woman) the case of US vs. Windsor will be going before the Supreme Court as well. President Clinton, who originally signed the DOMA into law, has long ago changed his views and has advocated the repeal. In addition, the Obama administration added its official support last week (Gobama!). Over one hundred American companies devised a brief stating how their married LGBT employees are negatively affected by having the state recognize their marriage, but having that same marriage not recognized on a federal level. These are prominent companies, such as Apple, Facebook, Twitter, Starbucks, and Disney, and their arguments are logical, precise, and should hold some clout.

In a pleasant change of events, over one hundred prominent Republicans added their names to a brief presented to the Court. Former members of Mitt Romney’s staff, a former Congressman, a former member of John McCain’s staff, Meg Whitman (a prominent Republican who supported Prop 8 when she ran for governor of California), and a handful of former members of the Bush administration all added their signatures to a brief in support of same sex marriage. Obviously it is known that not all members of the GOP are opposed to marriage equality, but it is encouraging when prominent members put it in writing.

Perhaps my favorite “brief” was that put forward by Ellen DeGeneres. Granted, she filed said brief on her blog and on Facebook, but it is still a valid argument. I’m proud of the Obama administration, the bold Republicans, the celebrities, the Faith organizations, the LGBT organizations, and the American companies for taking an official stand. But really, I just love Ellen.

“Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine. But even though Portia and I got married in the short period of time when it was legal in California, there are 1,138 federal rights for married couples that we don’t have, including some that protect married people from losing their homes, or their savings or custody of their children.

The truth is, Portia and I aren’t as different from you as you might think. We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else. Coming out was one of the hardest things I ever did. I didn’t intend to be on the cover of Time magazine saying, “Yep, I’m gay.” The truth is, I don’t even remember saying that. I mean, I definitely said the “I’m gay” part. It’s the “yep” I don’t remember. I’m not really a “yep” person. “Yes siree Bob” maybe. But not “yep.”

In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “We’re here, we’re queer, get over it.” And there’s another famous quote that says “A society is judged by how it treats its weakest members.” I couldn’t agree with that more. No one’s really sure who said it first, so if anyone asks, tell them I said it.

I hope the Supreme Court will do the right thing, and let everyone enjoy the same rights. It’s going to help keep families together. It’s going to make kids feel better about who they are. And it is time.

*I was just told Benjamin Franklin did not say that first quote. I apologize and see that I have a lot to learn about stuff.”